I want to share my third birth story. It was an entirely different experience from my first two births, just proving further that these things can’t really be predicted or fully planned for!
Three days before my due date, my water broke at 2:35 am, while I was sleeping. I thought I was peeing myself, but I had just gone to the bathroom forty-five minutes prior so I quickly realized what was happening and I jumped up to get to the bathroom. It wasn’t a huge gush, but I was pretty sure it was my water. I told Chaz, but contractions didn’t seem to be starting so I put a towel down on my bed and got back in to rest and wait.
Painless contractions started and were about ten minutes apart. I was tracking them on my phone. I decided to call my mom around 3 am to come over (the girls were asleep so we needed someone here); I was worried things would progress quickly like they did last time. We began to prep to leave for the hospital. Bags were packed, but last minute items needed to be added, and we each took quick showers.
I believe I had fourteen contractions over the course of the next two and a half hours, continuing as Mom arrived and Chaz drove us to the hospital. The last few contractions I had were getting crampy—to the point where I was breathing through them with eyes closed—but they weren’t severe.
Once we got to the hospital, I was able to walk to my room without needing wheelchair transport (what a difference!). But after arriving to my room (and skipping triage for the third time), contractions seemed to stop. I was checked and found to be between four and five cm dilated. They said I was in “early labor” and that they’d probably need to give me Pitocin (synthetic oxytocin) to get things going again. I was a little nervous because I had never had Pitocin before, and I know it causes strong contractions.
They did my blood work, gave me a Covid test, and started IV fluids. They swabbed my vagina to confirm that my water really broke (checking for amniotic fluid). When the nurse did the swab, it hurt like hell. I knew where the swab was supposed to go, but it felt like she was stabbing my urethra and I called out in pain.
She had warned me that it would hurt and I knew I’ve been swollen so I didn’t think anything was wrong, per se. However, I started to feel dizzy and lightheaded. I asked for juice, and felt better after a few minutes. A little while later, I needed to use the bathroom, so they unhooked me and let me walk there with Chaz. It hurt SO bad to pee—I’m talking excruciating—which was alarming, and there was also blood. Right after I peed with that horrible pain, I felt a vasovagal response again and got really lightheaded. But this time I was upright on the toilet with nowhere to go, and I felt so dizzy that I was sure I was about to pass out.
Chaz came in to hold me so I wouldn’t fall off the toilet, and the nurses came back in and were concerned (she said I was green). It was the most awful, gross feeling, but I came back from it and was able to get back into bed and drink more juice. I felt weak, but okay. I told them about the pain and bleeding, but they didn’t seem concerned and figured the blood was from being in labor (and maybe it was). Still, I feel like I know where she poked me.
Blood work came back okay, though my platelets had gone down to 114,000 (per microliter) which I was disappointed about because they had previously been improving. Platelets help your blood clot, and if they’re under a certain number, it’s too risky to get an epidural. I believe they said mine had to be 80,000 or lower for them to deny me, but it may depend on individual hospital policy. Ideal platelet count is between 150-450k.
The anesthesiologist was available, thankfully, and we got that done right as they were starting the Pitocin, which was a huge relief. I began contractions again but only progressed to six cm or so (I wish I could give a time frame here, but my experience of labor is that the passage of time is distorted).
They put me on my side with a huge peanut shaped yoga-looking ball between my knees which was actually quite comfy, despite my legs being numb and tingly. I was able to rest and may have even slept a bit, which was great (again, no clue how much time passed). Then I think they pumped up my Pitocin and I really started to notice when I was contracting. Still, no pain for a while.
Almost suddenly, at around 11 am, I had a contraction that was quite painful on my left side (the side that was down) that required me to vocalize through it, and Chaz called for the nurse to come check me. It felt like my vagina was opening or stretching, while the actual discomfort was in my left side, and I guessed that I could be in transition or even further. It’s interesting, because despite being very numb, I had these instincts that said “It’s time,” and to get onto my back.
The nurses must have been busy, because they didn’t come for eight-ish minutes and the nurse who came wasn’t mine. I said, “Something’s happening; I think I need to be checked,” and she sent someone right in. I was ten centimeters dilated!! They got me on my back (which I could not do on my own) and I didn’t have another bad contraction after that; the change in positioning resolved the pain on my left side.
The doc came in, suggested we put music on (”We got tunes?”), and they got me right into stirrups. My legs were completely numb—definitely a thorough epidural—so I couldn’t help at all. Once another contraction started, I was instructed to pull myself forward by grabbing my legs, then to hold my breath and push. I ignored the breath holding at first, because I preferred to breathe the baby down by exhaling through pursed lips, and my first two sets of pushes were still productive. But then they were all repeating for me to hold my breath, so I complied.
The second two pushes were even more productive, and he was born! I couldn’t believe how fast and pretty effortless it was to get him out, but I think my body did ninety percent of the work and they didn’t force me to push before he was ready to be born (like they had in the other hospital with my first)! His face, hands, and feet were purple, and he started crying right away.
The doc placed him on my chest as he did the most millennial-coded thing. He quoted the song that was playing—Satellite, by Dave Matthews Band—saying “He looked up, looked down, and all around.” The baby had actually opened his eyes for a few seconds, which made it all the more perfect. Was it corny as hell? Yes. Does it delight me to this day? Also yes. The nurse put a hat on him and gave me a blanket to keep him warm.
I had a second degree tear again, but only needed a few stitches. It didn’t bleed too much because the doc said I probably tore along the scar from before and scar tissue has little to no blood flow. I didn’t feel a thing as the placenta was born, nor when he stitched me up.
Delayed cord clamping is standard procedure in the hospital, usually, a few minutes is their policy. I noticed the doc asking my husband to cut the cord pretty quickly after birth and I didn’t say anything because I was just so overwhelmed with happy tears at the moment, and figured I just didn’t even have a concept of how much time had actually passed. But later, Chaz told me that the doc noticed there was “nothing in the cord.” In hindsight, I saw him cut it and it was pretty white, so it seems like the cord drained quickly.
It took FOREVER for the numbness to wear off completely, which was annoying! It was hours and hours it seemed, and well after I had been moved to my postpartum room. In order to transfer to the new room, they had to help me into the wheelchair and then into the new bed.
It’s still crazy to me that about nine hours passed from my water breaking until birth, but it didn’t seem that long at all.
Immediately postpartum, I felt so weak. Once I had feeling in my lower half, the pain wasn’t terrible but I was sore in my epidural area. I had soreness and cramps in my perineum and I just felt physically exhausted. My bleeding improved throughout the next day, but was still fairly heavy four days in (as was expected). I would say that bleeding subsided within two weeks or so, but I still had some here and there, especially on days when I had more activity.
I would say that this was probably my most pleasant birth experience, though my second was exhilarating and I don’t regret being unmedicated for that one. It was nice not feeling panicked getting to the hospital, being able to walk to my room, being able to relax, getting an epidural before severe pain set in, and delivering with just a few pushes. No ring of fire, no complications. How could I ask for more?!
I am forever grateful for my health and the health of my babies. I have put a lot of work and dedication towards my health over the years, but I also acknowledge the luck and the privilege involved in all of it. I knew this would be my last birth and my last child, so I really tried to soak it all in.
Please feel free to reach out to me with questions! I have so much to say on this topic and am never short on opinions, but my mind is wide open and I know everyone’s experience and preferences are different.
xo, Amy